So I’ve noticed I’m very indecisive now. I can’t make up my mind about anything.

I got my nose pierced Friday night and Mallory had to pick the stud and the placement. Before going to Mallory’s that night, it took me about an hour to decide if I was gonna shower or not before. I wound up not because Mallory said to just get over there.

I also took three Woodchucks (hard cider) to Mallos’ and I could only drink one. I gagged when I got to the bottom of the bottle too.

My parents were in the garage smoking and I was in the living room by myself. I went and asked them if they were going to come inside with me or if I had to be by myself and started crying. I’m okay now, just blah.

I haven’t had Xanax since Thursday night. I don’t know if maybe that’s what my problem is or what-not.

I haven’t cried as hard as I did the night I last blogged. And when I just now cried it only lasted a couple of minutes.

I know I’m going to be fine, but it’s just getting to that point that’s the hard part. And I know that the sooner I find a replacement guy the easier it’ll be to get over Jerkoff. But I also know I’m not ready for that.

This really sucks.

And we don’t have any ice cream.

Current Mood: Sad

I hate how this whole thing is making me feel. I’m popping Xanax like it’s candy and I’ve got to stop. I was fine the majority of the day. In fact, I was downright excited for tomorrow.

But now all I want to do is break down and cry and I hate feeling so damn weak. It hurts so bad because I miss him so much even though I know he was bad for me. I just wish this hadn’t happened. I wish I could hear his voice and tell him I love him and hear him say it back.

I’m trying so hard to be strong and I’ve been doing well, I think. But I hate the moments when it hurts so bad that I cry. I don’t like crying and I’m sick of it.

And it doesn’t help that everyone is asleep right now and so I’m just here left with my thoughts. I want my Adam. I want the man I fell in love in with so bad. It hurts so bad.

I can’t stop crying. I don’t know how to do this. I just wanna close my eyes and wake up and things be back to normal.

I have such a hollow feeling in my stomach and I hate it.

Current Mood: Sad

The following blog post is sort of a letter to Adam, who broke up with me today. It’s a little bit vulgar, but I think I did quite well.

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Current Mood: Mischievous

I’m going to post some pictures with this blog. Just because I can and I feel like it. :-p

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Current Mood: Cool

First blog of the new year! Finally. I’m sorry I’ve not been blogging. But people haven’t really been commenting either, so I figured it was fine.

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Current Mood: Cool

That song’s been stuck in my head for a while now… And I can’t listen to it because my laptop (HP) isn’t letting me un-mute the speakers… That’s one of the only problems with the version of the laptop that I have. Only way to fix? Restart. And I don’t feel like it right now.

I got some goodness to talk about!!!

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Current Mood: Happy

So I’m procrastinating again. I’m working on my final website project for 4321, which is the hardest class I’ve taken up to this point. Dare I say, even harder than government?

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Current Mood: Frustrated

I’ve got a paper and a website due Tuesday. I’ve got one paragraph of the paper and I’ve got not much done on the website. Yet I went camping this weekend… go figure.

So here’s a little update on stuff.

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Current Mood: Happy